Why I Am Grateful For My Overweight Past
Every Sunday morning after going to the washroom, I step on the scale and record my weight. There are three outcomes: I have gained weight, maintained weight, or lost weight from the previous week.
Sunday is the start of the week and it’s another step for me in my weight loss journey. I love writing down my weight in my notes app because it reminds me of where I started and my current progress.
With that being said, I want to talk about why I am grateful that I started at 355lbs when trying to lose weight. I know that may sound weird, but hear me out.
Growing up, I was always a big kid (round, not tall, unfortunately). I slimmed down a bit through High School but other than that, I was overweight. Being fat is all I have known, which is why I continue to be motivated with every ounce of progress.
Two years ago I could barely walk down the street because I was too heavy. I couldn’t fit in the seats at the Canadian Tire Centre and I struggled to find clothing that fit. I didn’t look or feel good. I was sluggish, could barely play my favorite sports and was essentially a shell of my former self. The difference and quality of life I have now at 262lbs compared to 355lbs has made me appreciate my body even more. Living at my heaviest was taking a toll on my body. I needed to wear braces on my knees and ankles and my back was in tremendous pain.
Once the weight started coming off I no longer needed any support braces for my ankles/knees and my back became stronger. Removing nearly 95lbs of weight from my body rejuvenated me and helped me feel like the athlete I formerly was.
At Winterlude in Ottawa, I was amazed at how sculptors could take this big block of ice and chisel it away to create something stunning. In a way, that is how I feel about my body. I was (and still am) a big blob of human flesh that is slowly being chipped every week to reveal my own true masterpiece. It’s hard to see the end result on a daily basis, but I know I need to trust the process and remind myself of the greater picture.
I am grateful for being severely overweight because it helps keep me motivated and it reminds me of the daily struggles that I lived. I loved myself as a person at my heaviest and overall thought I was a good person, but the mental toll of being morbidly obese was weighing on me (pun intended?) and affected me daily.
Coming to peace and embracing the past is something I think about often. I am still in shock with the weight that I have lost (even though there is more work to be done) and the progress I made. I read tons of weight loss success stories and often wondered if I would ever do the same. I am not at a healthy weight yet but I am closer to 200lbs than 355lbs, which is astonishing. I always figured to be the fat kid turned fat adult but am slowly changing my habits and lifestyle.
Am I proud of my weight in the past? No. But I can accept that I was severely obese. Now that I have a better quality of life I will always be reminded of what it was like struggling to walk or breathing heavily up the stairs. That gentle reminder helps me keep moving forward and pushing through the daily grind.
In the end, I want to live the best life I possibly can and the first major change was dropping the weight. I still have to work hard but I can only imagine how I’ll feel once I hit the 200lb mark.
As always, what I write is my perspective about my life and what I think/believe. I cannot (and will not) speak for someone else because I have zero knowledge of what they are dealing with. In former posts, I always reiterate that my daily eating habits and beliefs may not work for you and I am totally okay with that. Our beliefs and thoughts may not line up, but what works for me may not work for you and vice versa.
Perspective is huge for me. All I can do is base my progress around myself. I consider this an individual competition as the only competitor. Measuring myself to someone that I have no affiliation with or background of is unnecessary because I have no knowledge of their history. All I can do is worry about myself, my goals, and what I have and can achieve. In a way, it’s almost a life lesson as well.
I hope you all have a great day and thank you for reading! As always, if you have any questions, comments or concerns you can reach out to me by commenting on this post or messaging me on Twitter @patrick_trudeau.
